Cussing Kids & 8 Year Old’s Wearing Weaves?

A few weeks ago my husband and kids decided to take a road trip to Oklahoma instead of flying.

The trip was a ton of fun, but something happened that shocked me to the core! Cale, our son cussed at us…

It may sound funny, but that really hit a nerve with me about kids and how as adults we sometimes say things around them thinking they will not repeat it, but trust me they will.

Let me tell you what happened.

It was the day after my Sister-In-Law Kaitlin’s wedding, and it was time for us to check out of our hotel and head to Ricky’s Dad’s house to hit the pool, cook out, and just have fun.

The kids were so excited and eager to get going.

We had so much stuff to pack up so I told Ricky I’d pack up everything so he could stay in the front room with the kids.

It took me about 45 minutes to an hour to pack everything up. Once I was done I asked Ricky to check to make sure I didn’t miss anything.

I guess it was taking us too long because shortly after we made sure everything was together, Cale walks into the room with a serious face.

He looked at us and said, “What the Fu_k are ya’ll doing?! Can we go now?!”

“Oh my goodness” I shouted!

Ricky and I both looked at each other in disbelief. His mouth was wide open and my hand was over my mouth.

There was a long moment of silence… we both tried to figure out what to say.

After about 3 minutes of dead silence, Ricky finally said, “Cale! Where on earth did you get that from?”

He replied, “Dad I got it from my friend at camp. He said his Dad says that all the time. What’s wrong with that word Dad?”

We both sat Cale down and explained to him what bad words are and we also let him know that he is NEVER to use them.

Since we’ve been back I’ve shared that story with a few of my close friends and I was surprised to hear the mixed reactions.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen kids that talk grown, act grown, or are getting into things that they have no business doing.

Just a few days ago I got a phone call from a mother frantically calling because her 8 year old daughter’s weave needed to be done.

In my opinion, 8 years old is too young for a child to be wearing a full head sew in weave unless there are circumstances where it’s absolutely necessary, and with that phone call it wasn’t the case.

Kids should be kids in my opinion.

Phone calls like this are the main reason why I chose to film my 10 Styles For Your Child DVD. There are so many parents who need guidance in what to do with their kids hair instead of throwing a weave in.

–> 10 Styles For Your Child DVD

In this DVD I tell you everything you need to know from how to properly detangle the hair, to what you can do for those days when you’re in between washes, and so much more!

This DVD is great for children from 3 -12 years old and you can check it out below.

–> 10 Styles For Your Child DVD

I tell my daughter all the time to enjoy being a kid while she can. Don’t try to grow up too fast.

There are so many things to enjoy while you’re in your childhood.

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  • Leidasplace

    It is very heart breaking to see and hear some of the things the young children are doing and saying. All of my children are adults now but I have my grand children around often. I am constantly correcting them. I live near a middle school and my goodness the kids can't have a conversation without cussing. And the girls always have to show skin or they have on skin tight clothes even the uniforms. Its terrible but we can't give up on them. We have to continue to love them and correct in love. Leida, New Jersey

  • Morenike

    I live in las vegas, Nv. I see and hear kids as young as 7 stick out there middle finger and cussing and this is at school. I have never heard or seen anything like it before. Now my kids are picking up this garbage and being disrecpectful cause they see this behavior at school. Two of my kids already have behavioral problems. And this is not helping them out at all. I really think this holds them back.

  • Cali Mom

    Children will repeat what they hear, but as parents, we need to correct them immediately and explain to them that it's a bad word and they are not to say that again.

    As far as an 8 year old wearing a full weave, it's obvious to me that the mother has some insecurity issues herself and therefore are passing them onto her daughter, I'm sure the mother has a weave too. Perhaps she feels her daughters hair isn't long enough or “good” enough and this would make her little girl a “pretty little girl”. Sad…crazy and ridiculous.

  • Desiree

    There is absolutely nothing that shakes me more than dirty-talkin toddlers, foul-mouthed four year olds, slick talking six year olds, and even the parents amaze me when they talk to their children as if their adults with this language. I absolutely hate it. Parents, please know that how you speak to your children deeply impacts their views on what love is – and sadly, in cases where parents curse at their children, the kids are going to turn around and think that's how people who love you are going to talk to you. And for anyone who thinks that's true – it's not. Period. -Desiree

  • Jerri Stewart

    Marquetta I totally agree with you. Of course 8 year olds should not have a full head of weave…. What is really going on? My daughter is now 17. I remember braiding her hair into a style with weave and it kept for about two weeks. It was a style braided in the two pony tails…. a perfect style for a young girl.

  • Syn

    The age of parents are getting younger and younger and that is definitely having a negative impact on the kids of tomorrow. With kids raising kids, what can we expect to happen? And unfortunately these are our kids peers and friends.

    8th yr old with a weave? WTH? Give the child hair a chance to grow before doing all kind of stuff like that to it.

  • Desiree

    Marquetta I applaud your response. You knew your son did not get that word from you or Ricky, which is why you were led to ask where he did get it from. Keep it up mama!

  • Tjb

    Ms. Breslin, you are so right about kids and their language. I am amazed at how some folks will cuss up a storm around their kids on a regular basis, then get mad when the kid/toddler starts cussing. They are little sponges! That's how baby humans learn, by imitating the parents. From learning their ABCs, to counting to tying their shoes and the bad habits too! I have a 12 yr old and 4 yr old. One day at dinner the 4 yr old said, you're working my nerves today. My husband and older daughter cracked up, they knew she had heard that from me since we're home all day together. He said, good thing you weren't cussing her out.

  • Cheryl Russell

    You think that's something, wait until they do it in church which by the way, i have heard it done….Children are like little parrots..they repeat what they hear..that's how they learn to talk in the first place. My mouth flew open for you Marquetta because i was waiting to read next that you washed his mouth out with soap….anybody familiar with that one? But at least you warned him this time so he'll know not to use that terminology again. As far as little missy's hair weave, what's her mama thinking or is she?

  • Marquetta slaughter

    Yes it is sad to see that the adults parents are letting the kids act how they want and do what they want! It all boils down to us parents to teach our kids whats right and whats wrong to love them and validate them so they will not go and try to follow.I have had that same situation with one of my boys but I quickly niped it in the bud.

    Marquetta Slaughter

  • Ressi

    Mrs. Breslin

    I feel you It just crack a nerve when I hear some of these babies how they talk to their parents, I work in a school in the office I'm the bookkeeper and so a lot of that drama with parents and their children and sometime i just want to pinch all of them. Something has been lost between a parent and a child and us as adults need to get back in control and let our children know that there are consequence you have to face when you misbehave we have to teach them that you can't get by when you have done wrong, because when the get out in the real world people will not tolerate with their mess. I see that a lot of these children will not have no survival skill parents always taking up for them in their wrong, now if that was me when my child would have cuss I'm from the old school and he would have found himself getting off the floor how they say do it now ask question later. Much pray these days much pray!!

  • Pamelafa

    I have four children and there age differences vary. 19,16,11,7. All of my children have had to be discpline about profanity at some time. It is inappropiate for children to use ugly words and I will not tolerate that behavior. My 7 year old has had many problems with her hair and I have tried many things. I have never tried a full head of weave that is ridiculious. I'm also a license cosmetologist and have been practicing for 14 years. I think children should be encourage to believe in there natural beauty. It is ok for children to wear braids and age appropiate styles.

  • Psburdett

    Cursing is what you do when your brain can't think of the right words. Profanity demeans the speaker and everyone around them. It makes them sounds much less intelligent, and sets the tone on how others judge them and treat them. Obviously, if the person doesn't respect himself enough to use clean language, why should anyone else? Unfortunately, most TV shows and anything rated PG-13 is filled with profanity, not to mention what they hear in school. No wonder children talk like sailors. Unless parents step up and teach their little ones, it is going to get much worse.
    An 8-year-old with a weave?? How did she get the child to sit still for that long? Seems a bit like trying to dress a bumblebee….

  • T2johnso

    Hi marquetta, I am so glad you feel the same way I do, I don't have kids of my own, but I have nieces and nephews who I wish I could just strangle, they are way too grown,get into grownup conversations and most of all they know all the cuss words and rap songs. I don't think that is appropriate for the young kids of today, and we wonder why they can't get their homework done or even know their ABC's, its terrible, we need to try and change this, but people always tell me that I don't understand because I don't have kids, but I do know that I was not raised that way, and I am grateful for the way my parents raised me……

  • Yumatooldiva

    I agree with you so much on this one Marquetta.What I do not understand is how some Mom have no clue
    on how to take care of their little girls hair. Perms & weaves have no place in young girls hair. I do not have any girls & I do now how to take care their hair.Some mother will pay for their hair but not their little ones. if you don't know ask your stylist. Children will pick-up things from other kids in a heart beat & as parents we
    have to make those correction real quick & let them it is not going to happen on your watch.

  • Mama

    I think that the parents of today have gotten lost. They think that their children are “little adults”. Parents allow their children to cruise the internet without supervision, have cell phones without knowing what they are talking to or what they are texting. The little girls are beginning to look like hookers in training. If the shorts get any shorter they might as well just come outside naked. Why do kids have to throw up gang signs in pictures. What has happened ? Are these new parents just lazy or don't have a clue.
    They let their kids raise themselves, then they wonder why they act the way they do. These kids don't respect anyone and they don't have clue to what manners are (please, thank you, excuse me} They think it is their world and you are in it.
    These kids don't appreciate anything. They expect you to buy them the latest greatest with all the bells and whistles. The parents now think that if they don't give in that makes them a bad parent. To me it makes you a responsible parent. Kids are not going to die if you tell them no!
    I think the parent who got her 8 year old a weave is lazy. Everyone does not have long hair (Hallie Barry looks better with short hair than with long hair) What kind of message is being sent. Unless this child has a medical condition I would call her mother lazy. Too lazy to take the time to comb and style her hair.
    The music on the radio is ridiculious. And yes these kids can sing every word without skipping a beat. But ask them a question about history, science or math and you get the “deer in the headlight syndrome”.
    These kids want instant gratification. They don't want to work for anything. They want everything handed to them on a silver platter. Some of them even ask why when you tell them no. My standard answer is because I said no.
    I was fortunate to be raised by a great grandmother, grandmother, two grandfathers, mother and father. I feel sorry for the kids of today. They are missing out on being a child. Technology has become the new babysitter of the day.
    A lot of their parents want to be their friend instead of being their parent. Anyone can be your friend but you only get one mother or father. As you can tell you hit a nerve with me and I just had to vent. This was not meant insult or demean anyone but I just feel that the “now” parents need to wake up and smell the coffee. Another subject I did not touch on was how many kids know about McDonald's but do not know about eating fruits and vegetables. You are setting your kids up for major health problems because a lot of the “now” parents don't know about cooking or are too lazy to cook.
    I'm done.

  • Sgchappell

    The last post said it all! Some parents think that bad words are cute. No, they are not! Children has to not only learn respect, but understand what having respect really means. I do think some of the parents of today don't know any better. Also, when are around “old school” parents then you know from a early age what is exspected.

  • byrd

    There is so muc confusion in the area of rearin children that in most cases is caused by te parets themselves. The statement… My parents did or said it to me and I turned out ok is completely mis-used. We often force our cildren into a maturity we haven't equipped them to handle.

  • G-mama

    I know you both were shocked! You both did the right thing. A child will grow up to be what their parents put in them and live before them. I am from the old school, and I reared my children with the word of God also. And you have to communicate right and wrong, and sit down ASAP and nip the problem in the bud. And believe me your children will respect and love you and truly appreciate you as parents. Always teach them about the Lord, and obedience. Sounds like you all are sincere parents, don't find many these days. The parents are not examples at home, that's why the jail and streets are full of unlawful and rebellious young people. So sad. God bless you both!
    G-mama

  • http://www.braidsbysheka.com Nasheka Harper

    I loved this story because the way you and Ricky handled the situation. Most parents would have blamed the child for cussing and not find out where they got those bad words from. And a child getting a sew-in weave is crazy. What kind of world do we live in ?

  • Hinton4life

    Hi,
    Yes kids are growning up too fast these days. I'm glad you and your husband sat your son down and told him what was wrong with those words. I have seen a mother cussing in public and the child repeated what she said and she laugh like its okay. Then they wonder why the teachers, piniciples, church members be calling them about their child. Granted sometimes words among adults do slip out around our kids but i always tell my kids don't repeat what i just said I sorry i shouldn't said that. Our little girls and their hair what are these women thinking about putting weave in a 8yr old head when they can bearly take care of their hair weave that is too much stress on their little heads what happen to a little hair out in the back and a few curls here or there.

  • http://www.braidsbybreslin.com Marquetta Breslin

    Is there anything left to say?! Wow I couldn't have said it better myself! Don't even get me started on the food!!

  • http://www.braidsbybreslin.com Marquetta Breslin

    Lovely name! LOL You are so right….it's up to us parents!

  • jae

    i think that the parents are lacking what the word of God say! take time to train them up right and dont be scared to talk to them be opened. we should stop trying to be their friend, some times they will get it confused with the identity of who's the parent? all im saying is that we should keep some bounderies when it comes to our kids.

  • Sarahlaplacita

    As a mother of five Im all to femlier with the who do as i say not as i do. ya thats all good but best belive your kids r going to do exactly what thay want and i dont know about you but my kids have been around bad languige all of there lives it the way the wourld is ya I tryed to shelter them but soon found out my job is to teach them that just like any other behavour you dont want your kids to do you have to tell them that it is not ok for them to speek that way even though thay here it every day S0 FAR SO GOOD my 15 and 14 year old grils im sure say what ever thay think makes them fit in or be cool but…… thay know thay better not let me here any such words leave there lips and especaly not to me

  • JannaiJ

    After reading some of the comments, I felt like enough was said, but…it still irked me to see a few responses that were on the lines of kids doing what they want to do. We all are giving choices in life, but as a child you are truly a product of your environment. I can imagine the look on you and your husband's face when your son said that word because I had a similar situation. My 5 yr old said a bad word recently and my husband and I had to sit down with him and find out where it came from. Unfortunately, it was from a tv show-a PG tv show!!!
    We screen many of the things our children watch on TV, movies and hear in songs. While doing this, we explain to them why this or that is not appropriate for them. Too many times, parents want to just say don't do this or that and think they don't need to talk to kids about it, but that pushes them right to that thing. By keeping the open communication, your kids will respect your decision. BTW I have 5 boys that don't cause me any trouble, but it is a 24/7 job to ensure they are raised right.
    Don't get me wrong, I know my 16 yr old has used foul language among his friends, but there are consequences. When they “act out,” my boys must write a researched paper on why that particular thing is inappropriate. I want them to understand where a certain thing originated and I want themto explain to me why they think they should be able to say or do that particular thing or why theyshouldn't. I'll probably end up with a bunch of lawyers when they get older. ;0)
    Our kids are a product of their environment, we as parents must pay closer attention to what our children are taking in. Their little minds are not able to handle the world all at once. Keep open communication and be the one to talk to your children before someone else. LEAD BY EXAMPLE! Show your children that you don't approve of that type of obscenity in your life and they shouldn't either. I would challenge everyone to examine their lives (really look closely) and ask yourselves: “Is what I'm watching or listening to appropriate for my children, let alone me or am I part of the reason my child is acting the way that they are? and Am I allowing my children to see and hear things that are not appropriate for them? Not just because it says PG, but is it appropriate to me?”
    Much love to everyone.

  • Audrea_2003

    wow, I fell children should be children. No they don't need to be disrespectful, growing up I knew better. Today it seems Parents didn't pass on good values that was or wasn't pass down to them. It sad only thing I could do is PRAY.

  • Jo4peace

    I totally agree with you. However, you and your husband sat your child down and explained the differences in such language. I am quite sure you also SET a PROPER EXAMPLE. Children today have the internet, television, music videos and of course shallow minded parents. The amount of information they are exposed to is overwhelming and it desensitizing.

    I believe that the portion of the generation that comprises today's parents and grandparents should remember that children are not miniature adults. They have not been raised. They deserve a chance to be care free, wondering, dependent, children. This will happen when some adults learn how to be adults.

  • A`kiyia

    I So Agree with you! I always have mothers wanting micro braids for there
    6-10 year old daughters. Which I tell them not to get micros for there young daughters b/c micros
    are very stressful on the hair & Hairline!
    They also want crazy colors in there hair like blonde,
    red..etc…
    I think all this should come when you are at least a teenager or older!!

  • Bridalartisan

    “Congratulations!”……. Ricky and Marquetta for not being afraid to correct your Dear son Cale. You both are showing Genuine love for your children when you lovingly correct them. I just want to commend you both and please continue to show this loving discipline to your children…..for they will never forget it. Ephesions 6:1-4

    PS Ricky and Marquetta, below is a excerpt from an International magazine on the subject of “Bad Language' (in part)
    *** Help Your Child Cope With Problems at School ***
    A wise parent explains in a kindly way why uttering such words is not allowed in the family. He can also forestall the problem of bad language in classwork by checking the school syllabus to learn what books his child will study. If any of the works chosen contain bad language or feature immorality, perhaps he can request the child’s teacher to choose an alternative book with acceptable contents. A balanced approach demonstrates reasonableness.—Philippians 4:5.
    As a parents we have the most difficult job in the world, and that is helping our children to become honest, caring and respecting citizens no matter where on earth we live.
    A fellow parent, Pennn

  • shirleystuff

    I applaud you and your husband for first asking your child where he heard the word instead of showing anger about him using profanity. Taking the time to discuss the problem shows your care and concern. Explaining why what your child did is a problem demonstrates your adult wisdom and love. He now knows why it is not good or wise to cuss and why is parents don't.
    Regarding the eight year old and the weave, many young parents are into saving time, taking short cuts no matter what the dollar, physical, or emotional cost may be. They do so many things to make life easier for the adult and try to justify it by saying this is what my child wants. This mother has convinced the child she needs the weave and it is good for the child. A weave could not be healthy for an eight year old's hair. We see this with elementary school children getting pedicures, manicures, perms, weaves, wearing make-up. All look like midgets instead of children. The parents do not understand the emotional damage they are creating for the child.
    If the US public schools required children to wear uniforms as many other countries do, children would concnetrate more on school and not competing with the outward appearance. Your childs personalitly, intelligence, and skills would be what's noticed, not what they are wearing. It would cut down on crime and school drop outs. Everyone looks the same from the outside but the inner workings is what will stand out. It would cost less finacially and emotionally for children. Unfortunately so many parents are against this because they think what you wear or drive defines who you are. These are also parents who lack self-confidence, have foolish pride, and their parents have placed this in their minds. Just check out the private schools that require uniforms and countries where students wear uniforms. Their students do well and it eliminates a lot of problems.

    I

  • PD

    I don't have children. But I have helped my sister with her 6. They will tell you I am more strict then their Mother. I do not like nor do I care for children cussing at their parent or each other. Nor do I care for parents or care-takers cussing at children. Disregard and Disrespect go hand and hand in this case. Sometimes children cuss to test ……. I think we can all say we have tried something to test our parents or care-givers. I like how you took care of the situation. Shock does happen but you overcame that. As for a baby (9yr old) with a sew in weave …… that is really a bit much. True there may be situations such as an illness may be a reason. Kids/children should be just that not little adults.

  • Slmgdy123

    Hey Marquetta, what do you think of kids having braids with added hair, I do my daughters and i add hair when i braid it. a weave for an 8 year old is way to young, in a process of my older kids, i did put weaves in their hair to help them grow it but they are in 8th grade, that was the only reason. Have a blessed day

  • Carly_

    Black people shouldn't be wearing weave full stop- the majority of hair is from hair from Indian/China which have been sacrificed to idols. Then when we wear them we become cursed (aswell as walking around withe eaten out hair and looking ridiculous with people laughing at how pathetic we look in weave which is clearly not us. Time to think more about our values than plonking wigs on our heads and looking like freaks. I spend most of my life telling people 'this is my own hair' with smirks thinking 'yeah right' Black people CAN grow their own hair without the use of idol worship wigs. good day

  • tee

    That is so true kids grow up so fast as it is they don't need to move any faster. I know for me my daughter is 12 years old and very much acts like a 12 year old I have been very careful with what she watches on tv and what she does I tell her all the time stay a kid as long as possible. My problem is not with my daughter wanting to act grown or do what other kids do surprisingly enough my problem is with other parents that say things like why you dont let her watch R- rated movies or music videos or have a face book page they seem to have a big problem with how i choose to raise my daughter. I tell them if she's not asking for it why should it be a problem. She has alot of things to do like piano,acting,dancing,singing,school and studies she is very busy so maybe thats why she doesnt worry about the adult things.

  • cherylCheryl Russell

    please tell me you're kidding. what is wrong with these mothers wanting these crazy colors in their daughters hair…i agree. that's for teenagers and then i don't think i'd approve it for my daughter. i saw an article on Jada Pinkett and Willow's mohawk hair do. Absurb!

  • http://www.braidsbybreslin.com Marquetta Breslin

    That is funny, but I do see where you're coming from. Kids are just like little sponges they soak up everything, that's why I have our kids go soak up a book or two! LOL

  • http://www.braidsbybreslin.com Marquetta Breslin

    God Bless You Too G-mama!

  • http://www.braidsbybreslin.com Marquetta Breslin

    Love this post! I'm going to steal your idea when the kids get older…they will be writing paper's!! Great idea!!

    You're a great Mommy!!

  • http://www.braidsbybreslin.com Marquetta Breslin

    I think it's appropriate as long as they are styled age appropriately. In my 10 Sytles For Your Child DVD I added hair to the 4 year old model and it was soooo adorable and child like. It's cute!

  • http://www.braidsbybreslin.com Marquetta Breslin

    LOL! I've had my mouth washed out with soap a few times as a child.

  • http://www.braidsbybreslin.com Marquetta Breslin

    Are you serious?? Now I can see maybe a few pink braids in the front or something like that that's age appropriate. I've seen it done and have done it myself to Nya and it's very cute and age appropriate, but we will NOT be doing any blonde, red, etc…we'll stick with the pink's and purples…someone may disagree, but if done correctly I think it's tasteful and age appropriate.

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